The Cabbage Soup Diet has been known for decades as a “fad diet” basically attesting that one can lose 10 lbs in 7 days.  I’ve always been suspicious of these pinky promise regimens until a friend of mine from Portland told me that he experienced instantaneous results that he was able to sustain for weeks thereafter.  For the last 2 1/2 months, I’ve been pretty steadfast about working out at least 3 or 4 times a week, but my dietary habits and alcohol consumption have been diametrically opposed to bringing me any of the long or short term health benefits from this... not to mention that I wasn’t particularly losing very much heft from my mid section.  I have also started writing a 7 part song cycle about the notion of sacrifice and discovery (specifically as it relates to the theme of conquistadors) and I am hoping to generate material from observing myself in a state of self-disciplinary endurance and submission... but much more about that later.

The recipe for the Cabbage Soup is as follows: 

• 6 large green onions (also called “spring” onions)

• 2 green peppers

• 1 or 2 cans of tomatoes (diced or whole)

• 3 carrots

• 1 container (10 oz. or so) mushrooms
• 1 bunch of celery
• half a head of cabbage
• 1 package spice only soup mix (In the US, Liptons is a good choice)
• 1 or 2 cubes of bouillon (optional)
• 1 48oz can Low Sodium V8 juice (optional)
• Season to taste with pepper, parsley, curry, garlic powder, etc. (Little to NO SALT!)

Directions:

Slice green onions, put in a pot on medium heat and start to sauté with cooking spray. Do this until the onions are whiter/clearer in color (about 4-6 minutes).

Cut green pepper stem end off, then cut pepper in half to take out the seeds and membrane. Cut the green pepper into bite size pieces and add to pot.

Take the outer leafs layers off the cabbage, cut into bite size pieces, add to pot.

Clean carrots, mushrooms, and celery, cut into bite size pieces and toss them in. Add tomatoes now, too.

If you would like a spicy soup, add a small amount of curry or cayenne pepper now.

For seasonings, you can use a spice soup packet of your choice (no noodles!) or use beef or chicken bouillon cubes. These cubes are optional, and you can add spices you like instead (make sure not to add much salt, if any at all).

Use about 12 cups of water (or 8 cups and the 48 oz of Low Sodium V8 juice), cover and put heat on low. Let soup simmer for a long time – about 2 hours or until vegetables are tender.

The general consensus over the internet seems to say that the soup is rather bland, so I did add two spoonfuls of curry and one spoonful of garlic paste to the ingredients.  I didn’t have a pot big enough to hold all of the contents and so I basically divided the recipe in half and made two pots that came out looking something like this:

My roommate told me it looks like a Wizard's Stew... I think it looks more like something between gazpacho and minestrone, which is also exactly how it tastes.  I tend not to eat soups unless they're offered to me, but I have to say that I don't hate.  I do, however, hate calling it Cabbage Soup, so I'm just going to ahead and call it something else.  Maybe "Olympic Juice."  Given the amount of curry I put in here, it seems like The Official Soup of The Jamaican Bob Sledding Team.

So here is the 7-Day Plan (taken from www.cabbage-soup-diet.com)

Day One (Monday):

Fruit: Eat all of the fruit you want (except bananas). Eat only your soup and the fruit for the first day. For drinks- unsweetened teas, cranberry juice and water.

Day Two (Tuesday):

Vegetables: Eat until you are stuffed will all fresh, raw or cooked vegetables of your choice. Try to eat leafy green vegetables and stay away from dry beans, peas and corn. Eat all the vegetables you want along with your soup. At dinner, reward yourself with a big baked potato with butter. Do not eat fruit today.

Day Three (Wednesday):

Mix Days One and Two: Eat all the soup, fruits and vegetables you want. No Baked Potato.

Day Four (Thursday):

Bananas and Skim Milk: Eat as many as eight bananas and drink as many glasses of skim milk as you would like on this day, along with your soup. This day is supposed to lessen your desire for sweets.

Day Five (Friday):

Beef And Tomatoes: Ten to twenty ounces of beef and up to six fresh tomatoes. Drink at least 6 to 8 glasses of water this day to wash the uric acid from your body. Eat your soup at least once this day. You may eat broiled or baked chicken instead of beef (but absolutely no skin-on chicken). If you prefer, you can substitute broiled fish for beef on one of the beef days (but not both).

Day Six (Saturday):

Beef and Vegetables: Eat to your heart’s content of beef and vegetables this day. You can even have 2 or 3 steaks if you like, with leafy green vegetables. No Baked Potato. Eat your soup at least once.

Day Seven (Sunday):

Brown rice, unsweetened fruit juices and vegetables: Again stuff, stuff, stuff yourself. Be sure to eat your soup at least once this day.

*

The controversies with this diet are rather vast.  I have come across so many testimonials from nutritionists and participants of the program alike that say the lack of protein intake leads lethargic tendencies and a depletion of muscle mass.  These concerns would be more relevant if I were on this plan for longer than 7 days.  As it happens, I am not a self-flagellating moron, nor am I particularly concerned with losing weight.  But I happen to believe the only way to make a radical change to a person’s lifestyle is to begin with something radical.

I am making slight revisions to Days Four (Thursday) and Five (Friday).  Instead of skim milk, I have decided to go with soy.  (Currently looking into whether or not low-fat cottage cheese is a viable replacement.)  On Day Five, I am replacing beef with fish mostly because I learned in college that my genetic predisposition requires that I have some form of fish intake at least once-or-twice a week.  On Day Six I AM TAKING MYSELF OUT TO PETER LUGER’S STEAKHOUSE IN BROOKLYN.  (If you have been to Peter Luger’s, you will understand the need for capital letters.)

Since weight is not the primary concern here, I will not be using a scale.  I’ll instead take pictures of myself without any shirt in front of the bathroom mirror each morning to track my progress.  (Keeping exclusively for myself... for obvious reasons.)

Bon Voyage!  It’s about to be a bumpy ride!

Love & Other Extreme Forms of Sacrifice,

TRYSTAN TRAZON